I always come up with good ideas at the gym. I generally don't consider my workout complete until I have a good idea. Because for some reason I sense an internal motor in my body that hums along at a certain rate and some things (strangely, both exercise and alcohol) increase the speed of that humming and at a certain point my mind reaches its optimal crazy/ambitious/generous/creative mode and begins to churn out ideas. I live for that state. The weird thing is that they're almost always the kind of ideas that pretty much require that I stay in that state in order to execute on them. For example, my hotdog confession booth came from that state, and my secret project idea, and many of my bar ideas, and interviewing local celebrities, and slapping people, and relationship reviews, and oh so many other forgotten ideas. The worst part is walking home in the cold where my body gets out of crazy boiling state back into normal life state and I think, "Am I really going to do that? That sounds difficult." Normal state is boring and lame.

Last night my idea was to start a new industry around life nemeses. I've always had nemeses and I think they've taken me far. I have this suspicion that they're always doing something behind my back... better than me. And I get obsessed with catching up to them and passing them. I've learned over the years that I trick myself into having nemeses just for this effect... and that I really don't have anything against the person. I just need a vehicle for my competitiveness to stew and focus on. So, this new program would go something like you telling me what you're most passionate about in life. Then I would spend all my time trying to be BETTER at these things than you are, and to know more about them than you do and to get you off your butt because you realize that maybe an alcoholic amateur like me might give you a run for your money. I'll call you up and ask you if you knew about this and this and that and generally be a jerk and get you fired up to start doing more about these things that you're supposedly fired up about. What's passion without fire?

Who wants to hire me? I'll be cheap for a while. Also, who wants to be MY life nemesis? I need inspiration too...